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Expectations and Reality

April 3, 2013

By Hari Tahil

Having expectations about what will happen in life is normal. Having expectations that differ from reality is also normal – but leads to disappointment. In other words, we base our expectations on how we believe the world works – or how we would like it to work- rather than how it actually works.

To achieve something, begin with the desired results, then determine what actions need to be taken to achieve these results. Not, do what you usually do then wonder why you didn’t get what you want.

Furthermore, it is useful if you can determine what success looks like for you. The expectations others may have of you may well not match your own expectations.

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.”

- Dennis Wholey

Expectations are a focus that removes doubt, so we like them. The mind does not want to be uncertain.  However, expectations are only tools related to reality, they are not reality itself.

Be aware, and make your expectations a conscious choice. If you find that you have become disappointed, realise that it is from an unconscious expectation.

You can expect anything you want! There are no limits. This energises your creative powers.

Even so, you may not get what you expected, but you will get the closest thing possible. This requires  a spiritual perspective, in that you may not recognise at the time how a certain outcome is best for you.

“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.”

- The Gestalt Prayer – Fritz Perl

Expectations and Reality first appeared in the Lifeforces March 2013 news letter.

 

About the author: Hari Tahil is the co-founder of Lifeforces (www.lifeforces.com) – an integrated holistic therapy practice based in Tokyo since 1994. Lifeforces offers workshops and individual sessions assisting people in improving their physical, mental and emotional health as well as progressing on their personal spiritual path more effectively.
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